What are you looking at?

I've been something of a mess lately. ( Dunno... )

Filched from velf79


1. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother & father's middle name)
Marie Cliffton That one's decent! Mom hates her middle name though... With a passion.

2. NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad )
Phillip Wallace

3. STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name:
Ohlka? Gloka? Dude, I hyphenated my maiden and married names... Which, considering they're both long, German and completely unpronounceable, is really cruel to all involved.

4. DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Silver Unicorn! Green Dragon? Maroon Dog? I've got too many favorites...

5. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Rose Edgewood? A very botanical name...

6. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Green Frappichino? Ok that just sounds stupid. The Blue Carmel Macciato? The Turquoise Naked Purple Machine? HEHEHE That one is so wrong!!!

7. FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Kage... huh... I've got a student with that name.

8. GANGSTA NAME: ( fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)
Turtle Soup Thin Mint? Dude, that's stupid.

9. ROCK STAR NAME: (current pets name, current street name)
Schnuff Quebec. ew. just... ew... We don't even have a pet now... Our last SEVERAL died over 2 years ago. Schnuff was a hedgehog, Pepe was a Beta and so was Vash. Then there were Pip and Pop and Goldie and Slurp... 2 zebra fish and 2 snails. We killed them all. Very dead. Does my husband count as a pet?


10. STRIPPER NAME: ( name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy)
Sensual Amber Lindt. Maybe... Glow Rose Pastilles? If it were favorite desert it could be Sensual Amber Gulab Jamun...


11. PORN NAME: (1st pet, street you grew up on)
Pat Solon... nope! Not even a little. Tessa Abby? Sandy Andover? I moved 11 times. And we had a lot of pets.

There are three poems that come to mind when I think of a favorite.

The first is "O Captain! My Captain!" which I first read in fourth grade. Until then, I'd hated poetry because all I'd been exposed to was stuff like Shel Silverstein and other children's poets; things that rhymed and were cute and simple. As much as I love and admire Silverstein now, I was fed up with it then. I went through my "rebellious" and pithy phase a little early; I didn't get along well with other kids and I had a bit of an intellectual snobbery issue. To put it bluntly, I'd felt I was better than all that bull and I read things that were beyond the reading level I was "supposed" to reading at to show that. Walt Whitman opened a whole world to me though; through that poem, I learned how to love poetry. I learned how wonderful words were at hiding meaning while revealing it at the same time.

The second poem I think of is ee cummings' "grasshopper". It looks like random letters on a page. It's fucking brilliant, in a crazy, bizarre, why the hell didn't I think of that way. I was 14 when I read that and again, it opened a while new world to me.

The third is a bit narcissistic. Several years ago, nearly a decade ago now, I wrote a poem about my disillusionment with religion juxtaposed with my need to believe I understood something about the universe. It turned into a three page long epic involving the Virgin Mother, the theory of relativity and my own personal thoughts on science vs. religion. There are parts of the poem I'm no longer very proud of, but the underlying message of it is still one I feel strongly. We've made a mess of things and we really don't understand as much as we think we do.

"divinity is matter
and our understanding the night sky
distortions happen every day
science is the sun
religion the moon
reflections and refraction
distorted to suit our poor
eyes and our blindness"

I called the poem "Mary's Grotto" after a small shrine to the Mother I'd found at the Catholic university I was attending at the time. I'd often go to the shrine to sit and think or write. I wrote that poem there, knowing that I was writing something that was very important to me.

So those are my favorites; things that inspired me and things that made me proud.

So it's been a long time since I last posted and a hell of a lot has happened. The biggest thing? I think I might be pregnant.

I forgot a few pills early on in the month and hubby and I have been... busy a bit more this month than usual. And now I'm late. Only a week and I took a test today that came out negative. But I feel different. Pants that were loose last week are suddenly almost tight. My lower stomach feels swollen and tight. Belts hurt and I feel nauseous at odd times. And laying on my stomach? No, can't really do that anymore. It feels like I'm laying on something.

I'm both excited and scared. I've been suspicious about it since Wednesday when it finally hit me that I was supposed to be on my period but wasn't. It's not something I worry about all that often, but I remembered forgetting those few pills and I was already beginning to feel off. So I finally bought a test today and told my husband. He wasn't mad like I was worried he'd be; we'd planned to wait a bit longer to start even trying and he's always on me to remember my medications, mostly so I don't go bat shit insane on him. I finally talked to him about it over the phone at lunch. I know, I'm such a coward, but saying it makes it more real and I'm a little bit scared shitless about this. I felt guilty that I'd forgotten a few pills, but his take on it is that it was bound to happen sometime anyway. Seriously, we've been together for nearly 8 years now. And we do want to have kids...

And I'm not sure weather to be hoping I really am or hoping I'm really not. Thing is, I think I am. And it really scares me. But at the same time, I'm imagining being 8 months pregnant in the dog days of summer and... If I am, I want it. I want it bad.

If I am, my parents are going to have to change their vacation plans. If I am, I'd say I'm probably around 3 weeks. It may be more, considering my last period was so light, but I'm not sure. That still puts a due date around September or October, if I am. They were planning to come out in May and have me come out in August or September. If I am, I'll be too big to fly by August. Seriously, I barely fit in the dinky airplane seats NOW, imagine being like 40 pounds heavier! Yikes. Both of our parents are going to be ecstatic. My parents really want to be grandparents; they already know what they want to be called: Gigi and Pop-pop. Hubby's parents are already grandparents but wouldn't mind another little one to spoil. So long as my MIL doesn’t start teaching my little one religion, I'm fine with that.

Part of me really wants to be. Ok, MOST of me wants to be. However, the small (very small) reasonable part of my mind says we don't have the money to deal with this right now.

But I want to be a mommy. I really, really want to.

Cripes... It's been forever since I posted anything. I've been a bit busy these last few months.

Work is going ok. One of our teachers walked a week and a half ago, being the utterly responsible and reliable person she is. Can you taste the sarcasm there? Very professional, wouldn't you say? Walking out because she wanted the day off and the director wouldn't give it to her. Not that she'd worked a full week since starting in our room.

Pfft. Anyway.

First time hosting Thanksgiving went well. The in-laws were impressed and everything went smoothly. The turkey was spectacular and everything tasted as it should.

Christmas was great this year. My parents flew out from Columbus and everyone congregated over at my apartment. I had been worried about my mother; she did break her leg last February and had been in a wheelchair untill August. But she seems to be doing a bit better now; she mostly uses the walker or a cane and doesn't seem to be in pain, so that's good.

I got some neat gifts:

Subscribtion to Netflix
SingStar Rocks
7 somewhat random romance novels
A jewelery box
The 300
Peter Pan
A Tori Amos CD
Fast Times At Ridgemont High packaged with Dazed and Confused
$50 worth of Target giftcards

The gifst cards are nice. I should be able to get that food processor I've been wanting, as well as a few other nice things. I miss making my own hummous. I also got some other nice gifst from my students. One gave me a gc to Kholes, $25 worth. Another just gave me $20 cash. Cash is a NICE gift.

The Netflix, however was perfect. I've been wanting that for years now and I'm so excited to have it! First thing I rented on Netflix was the first season of the new Doctor Who series. The first 2 discs came last Thursday and only have the first 6 episodes, but I was quite excited. Something about Christopher Eccleston... I've also recently gotten hooked on Doctor Who Fanfiction. I've been going through the entire list of it on ff.net. There's a lot. And weeding out the pairing I want is a bit difficult. I've been liking primarily the Ninth Doctor with Rose... Large age gap and one's not human... gee, THAT's a familliar type of pairing.

I was realizing the otherday that in very few of the pairings I like, be it in Inuyasha or any other fiction, are both of the couple human. I mean, really. Inuyasha and Kagome, Sesshomaru and Rin, Jareth and Sarah, The Doctor and well.. anyone, really. And then there's The whole Carpathian thing, Christine Feehan's whole series about that incredibly sexy race of blood sucking, inhuman hotties...

So anyway, the last few months have been full of me getting ready for family things and avoiding thinking too much lately.

Today, however, not thinking kinda caught up with me. One of the newer teacher had let us know last week that she'd recently found out she was pregnant. Over the weekend, that changed. Her ex, a violent psycho who had already been locked up for trying to hurt her and was recently bailed out of jail by his mother, got wind that she was pregnant. He was pissed because it wasn't his, came over to her brother's place, hit her and caused her to miscarry. She's only 18 and had only been a few weeks along so she's got really mixed feeling about the whole thing, understandably. She wasn't ready to have kids, but she was getting to be ok with the idea that she was going to. Then this happens. I feel really bad for her.

Thing was, it brought to mind something I'd been trying not to think about. It was about this time last year that we think I might have miscarried. I never tried to find out if I'd actually been pregnant and miscarried or if it was just my body being weird. My body doesn't some pretty strange things sometimes. I wouldn't have been far a long but... It's not something I think on often and her ordeal brought it to mind for me today.

On a more posotive note, we're going out tonight. Probably to my brother's for some fun and sillyness. We're taking my SingStar game over to my brother's. Should be fun, I'd like to hear how bad we all suck at this. :-)

I hope all of you have a great new year and that you have very un-interesting lives for the next 12 months!

I love what I do. Really. To me there is nothing better than tickling a giggling toddler or watching a 17 month old learn that if they place a block just right, their tower isn't so likely to fall. The look of concentration on a baby's face as she watches glitter fall through water in a bottle; I thrill to this! The excitement from just watching a bubble! Seriously, I love what I do.

However, I'm hating my job right now. There is a difference.( Read more... )

So I was sick a few weeks ago. So were a lot of people at my daycare. So many, in fact, the health department got involved and started taking stool samples... We were infected with Norovirus. You know that virus that infects cruise ships and the like? Yeah. The stomach flu! Vomiting, diarrhea, body aches. Friday, before Labor day, we voluntarily closed. Tuesday we opened again and... ( Read more... )

Woohoo! We're getting a new TV! Tom's friend and former roomie has been going through a foreclosure, as well as a very messy divorce and is getting rid of his Sony Vega TV. It'll fit perfectly in the little TV niche we have in our apartment and best of all... It's FREE! See, Chris just wants to get rid of the thing, it's big, heavy and he can't fit it in his parent's house. Plus, he kinda used my husband's money to pay for it.

( more on that... )

I'm thinking of asking to be the Art teacher or the Music teacher instead of the Toddler teacher. I'm sick of being stuck in that room all by myself all day long. I love my kids, the students I have right now are wonderful. They're smart, fun and really really cute. But since that one teacher transferred to a different room and her replacement quit, I've been all by myself in that room. I want out. We're down quite a few staff members right now so there's never anyone to help either. I'm at ratio by 8:15 and if any more come, which they do because my roster is full, I've got to bump them to the other class. Problem is, they have a full roster as well. So if all their kids come and all my kids come... we're over by 5.

And if they put the woman I replaced back in there when she asks to be rehired... There is no way I would stay in that classroom with her. I've worked with her before! She'll take over, treat me like her subordinate just because I'm younger than her and drive me out of my skull. She's sweet and all and she's great with the kids, but she lies. She's a compulsive liar. She lies to other teachers, she lies to the kids, she lies to the parents. And she really doesn't know what the fuck she's doing. You know how I feel there's this whole "anti-intellectualism" movement going on? She don't like no smart people. If I say something she doesn't understand, she'll treat me like I'm a jerk because I have a vocabulary beyond that of a fourth grader. I mean, it's not that I think she's stupid, but she sure acts (and talks) that way. My grammar is in no way perfect but I still find myself correcting her every other sentence. 'Cause I'm OCD like that. And the wretched baby talk that woman spouts!!!

OK, so maybe I don't like her. I'll admit I'm a bit of an intellectual snob and I can't stand dumb people, especially when they have the potential to be more. Or if they find my intelligence insulting. That really pisses me off. And she's one of those. I'm not a genius by any means, but I'm reasonably intelligent and I'm proud of it. So it really make me want to hurt someone when they treat me poorly because of my vocabulary or some such. So I read a lot and I paid attention in school, I might not have gotten great marks, but damn it, that's not really why I was there!

I'm so frustrated with this, but this is my field. And this is one of the better pre-schools in general. The curriculum is really amazing and I love the idea of rotating classrooms and having "enrichment" classes like Art, Computers, Spanish and Music as well as Gym. There's an actual Library in the building as well as special rooms for Math and Science, Language Arts and even a "TV Studio". Oh, and a Water Park. The kids really get spoiled, but they also get a great early education. I just wish things were managed a bit better and that they'd pay more.

My hubby's nickname for me is "Calamity Kate". Because there are some things that only happen to me. Like a toddler running to hug me and breaking my glasses with his head. Or standing up from tying my shoe and straining 3 of the 4 ligaments in my knee. Or what happened today.

I'm putting away bikes on the playground when I notice a cute little 18 month old from my class gnawing away on something. Not 5 minutes before, I'd pulled her out of the sandbox to keep her from eating sand. So I run over to pull it out of her mouth and... I have no clue what the fuck it is. It used to be round and reddish on the outside with whitish flesh. It smells sweet and is sticky so its obviously some type of fruit. But holy fuck, I've got no clue where it came from! So I rush the kid inside and take her to the director's office; the little girl is giggling and waving to everyone she passes. "Hi! Hi! Hi!" My director just blinks as I run into her office saying, "I'm not sure where the heck she got this, or even what it is, but I think she ate most of it before I got it away from her."

She laughs. We examine the sample, I leave it with her. She calls mom and I keep an eye on the toddler. Fortunately, she's been fine (ate like a horse, as usual) and we think it might just be a crabbe apple. Unfortunately, there isn't a crabbe apple tree within 100 feet of the fence so we're not sure how it got there. My theory is a bird or some other wild creature dropped it.

I REALLY hope her Mom doesn't kill me.

My birthday has come and gone. I'm now the age my parents were when I was born. I still feel like a kid sometimes, but I'll chalk that up to the fact that I work with them. I don't feel old...

I had a rough week last week. My co-teacher transferred to another room and the girl they hired to replace her quit the next day. I've been frustrated and depressed ever since. And tonight I think I caught a bug; I had a slight fever and fell asleep almost as soon as I got home. Fortunately, my immune system kicks ass and I think I'm already better.

However, I'm going to go back to bed now and make sure the bug STAYS kicked.

Good night, good night!

This week I was made glaringly aware of a facet of my personality I normally try to ignore.

I hate people.

Not in a specific or malicious sense and not in an antisocial psychotic way, either. I hate drama and people generally mean drama. And as I work primarily with women who spend hours upon hours with children (which IS hard physical labor and emotionally trying, to boot) and little else to occupy their minds, there will be gossip and drama. I have to wait until I get home to my husband to have an intelligent conversation and even then I'm starting to feel like I've lost my touch with it. Part of me just wants to look for an office job where I can have discussions that do not involve "OMG did you hear what she said about her?!?" or "I swear to god they never even talk to that child..." or something similarly inane.

I'd been looking forward to having adult conversations again. Forget that! I feel like I'm in High School. Hell, even in HS the other kids had the sense to leave me out of their dramas; my general response to the mess that was the lives of the girls who called themselves my friends was rolled eyes and a few patient sighs before changing the subject.

I don't even want to get into why I'm all pissed tonight, I just want to rant about the idiocy. Suffice to say, the girls I'm working with don't get along and everyone thinks the others are lying. I'm too fucking old for this. I want to have real friends that I can actually relate to again! The closest I got to that anymore is my husband's friends. Fortunately, they actually like me as well and I can be as goofy, crude and sick as I want around them and no one really thinks any less of me. Unfortunately, most of them are guys, single guys at that. So there are no girls for me to hang out with and be girly...

The girls at work have no idea what I'm talking about half the time and my sister-in-law has convinced herself she's stupid and so acts it 90% of the time. I can hardly stand being around her when she does that. I miss my mom, I miss my friends from DC and I miss feeling like I can be myself outside of my house. I'm giving my self a headache so I should probably shut up about this. It's not like my entire week has sucked.

Hubby's close friend at work is a comedian and actor; he and Hubby "riff" a lot. Both have a bizarre and somewhat warped sense of humor and they recently decided to get some of their shtick down in writing and see if they could bang out a script. They're planning on having some friends help them film and produce this thing and to put it on YouTube at some point. Well... Hubby's friend invited me to help. And not just in the typical "wife of a friend" serving food way. Seems Hubby's friends think I'm snarky and weird enough in my own right that I'd have a lot to contribute so when we do get this thing filmed, I'm going to be getting a writing credit.

Honestly, it's a big deal to me! I'm excited about it and more than a little nervous. But the guys seem to like my ideas and I'm having fun with it. So far Hubby and I are working together on the "commercials" because we don't have as much experience writing scripts as the others. As in neither of us have ANY clue how to do this. But we're both quick studies and I think we'll manage fine. I hope.

Oh! And hubby got a promotion and a raise. A BIG raise. 12%. That brings us back up to what we were making when I was nannying, which is helpful as we were starting to really suffer. He'll be a Project Manager now, whatever that means. He said it'll mean more meetings, more work but more delegating. Probably staying later too, which he does anyway.

Hubby keeps making noises that he's sorry my birthday is going to be so sparse this year because even though he's being paid more, we're going to be on a very tight budget for the next few weeks and my b-day is next week. I told him not to worry, all I really want is to spend time with him anyway but he still feels bad he'd not going to be able to get me a big present this year. I'll let him take me out to dinner if it'll make him feel better.

I had a dream last night that Vash The Stampede, Millions Knives and Totosai (yes, from Inuyasha) were flying kites with the cast from Mary Poppins.

My husband thinks I need to lay off the anime for a while.

Now, I'm fond of fruit, especially peaches and blueberries. And I like soup, for the most part. Yogurt is ok, but it's not my favorite. Unfortunately, those are the only things I've been able to eat for the past 2 days. Anything else hurts too damn much.

My right tonsil has swollen to the size of a grape and is covered in white stuff. It's not strep so they're going to do a full spectrum lab analysis so they can figure out what is actually is. Fortunately, the white stuff isn't puss and my Dr said I should be able to return to work tomorrow, once I'm no longer contagious. The antibiotic she put me on should kill off the infection nicely, and only has a 6% chance of my reacting to it. While I'm not technically allergic to penicillin, yet, the vast majority of my family is and seeing as most of the reactions are life threatening, no one really wants to risk it. I've never reacted to antibiotics and hopefully I never will.

She also gave me vicadin. Blessed Vicadin. :-) I've slept most of the day. It was great because I was really unable to sleep last night. Plus I love painkillers like that, you know, ones with a morphine derivative in them. I've gotten to take codeine cough syrup a few times, when I had pneumonia, and that was... it allowed me to actually sleep. For someone who only gets 4 or 5 hours of sleep even when I'm not sick, that is a wonderful thing.

I feel really bad about not being at work today, though. It's Water Day. That means my co-teacher is going to have to get 7 kids into and out of swimsuits and diapers, mostly by herself. Not the most fun thing in the universe. I hate Water Day with Toddlers. It's fun with the older kids; they can dress themselves! Toddlers, however... OK, I'll amend that. I hate getting toddlers ready for Water Play; watching them play is a riot. Their favorite thing to do is fill a bucket and dump it over their heads, then squeal and giggle. Pulling them away from it and getting them back in dry clothes is no picnic either.

Yet another thing I'm looking forward to with my own kids some day... :-)

I think I might go back to bed now... later!

It's 11 PM and I'm tired. And hot and cranky. I feel so old. I'm trying not to think about the birthday that's coming up this summer. 28. yikes. The thing is, as much as I complain about feeling old, I really don't. I still feel... kidish, you know? I still enjoy sitting down to watch cartoons and eat kid's cereal for dinner just because I can. Hubby does the same. And he's nearly a full decade older. Does that make us immature? I'm not sure. Neither of us is too fond of reality or the state of the world today and both of us find our own sort of solace from our fears in fiction and escapism. Unfortunately, it is very easy for me to become completely submerged in literature; I've on occasion become so intent on a book or story, I lose whole days.

It's odd to be quite in touch with reality and yet be so easily torn away from it.

I fee a bit like poetry tonight. It's been an awfully long time since I wrote a poem... But maybe it's just the Fiona Apple I've been listening to.

Work is going good. I feel a bit like an outsider right now, but I think that's more my own perception problems than actual fact. That and I've been alone in the room for the past week. I got to snuggle a baby today, a little 8 month old. Highlight of my week. :-) As I'm on the plump side, a lot of toddlers like to hug me and cuddle on my lap. Hugs from someone soft and squishy are better anyway.

I doubt my hubby is asleep yet, as he prefers to be when I come to bed, but I'm going to go crash anyway. Too bad for him if I keep him up; he woke me every time I was just about asleep last night.

Fortunately, I got a new job. The Tuesday after I was let go, I stopped by my former place of employment and asked if I was re-hireable. The answer: an enthusiastic "We'd love to have you back!"

So I've returned to Crème de la Crème, an upscale child care facility less than a mile from my apartment. Well, I'll spend less on gas this way, at least. Unfortunately, I'm being hired back making nearly $5,000/year less than I was making just a few weeks ago. Hopefully my husband will start seriously looking for a new job because $5,000 is a LOT of money to miss.

On the plus side, I don't need to be trained, I got on well with everyone there and apparently even several months after I left, my co-workers were still talking about me in a positive light. And a few of my former students remember me; one remembered enough that she immediately ran to give me a hug when she saw me. THAT felt great, especially since I'm really missing a certain toddler I used to take care of. I've been a bit moody about that lately. I'll think about the girls and be hard pressed to keep from tearing up.

Being pulled away from them like that, not even able to hug them goodbye, it's really messed me up a bit lately. They were a big part of my life and I really loved both of them a lot. There have been a few times I've come close to crying at work and I've been rather snippy with hubby. And hardest of all, my biological clock has also been shouting at me. It's probably a psychological reaction based on the "loss" of the girls. I'm sure it's perfectly natural, even if it isn't particularly bright. Because of the change in my husbands insurance and now this financial set back with my new "compensation", we're going to have to put off trying to get pregnant again. I want to have a baby, pretty badly actually, we even have names picked out already… But I'm beginning to worry we never will. We'll never have the money or the time, my husband will never be healthy enough and... Hell, we don't even know if I'm able to conceive. And you know that if we can't afford to even try to conceive, we can't afford to adopt, so that's out of the question too.

I'm trying to think positively about this, you know? "It's a steady income." "At least I'm having contact with actual adults again." "I'm well liked here and I like most of my co-workers." "My co-teacher is a real sweetheart and I love working with her." "I'm not working 50 hrs a week anymore..." But it's not working at Crème again that has me depressed and angry. It's the fact that I still don't really know WHY I was asked to leave. And that I might never know why.

I got fired... well, technically, I was asked to resign.

I'll post again sometime this weekend when my head stops spinning.

I went up into the mountains today. My mother's-in-law sister made her dinner up at her BF's house in Silverplume. My husband's aunt has been dating the same man for 15 years, on and off. She's still hoping he'll marry her, even though he's stated plainly that her marriage track record is not something he wants to have any part in. He loves her dearly but doesn't want to be husband #4. He was married once before and lost almost everything in that divorce, so isn’t really interested in round two. Been there, done that. That and she has some issues, but who doesn't? Hers often revolve around her son, who is, as best as anyone can see, a ne'er-do-well. Eh, happens. Regardless, the BF is really fond of the whole family and we're all welcome at his house up there any time. Which is fortunate, because we love it there!

Anyway, I'm now sitting here drinking one of the remaining bottles of "lemondrop" cocktails I bought at the liquor store for the little party today. They're much less potent when you're not at nearly 10,000 feet above sea level. Feh, I'm a lightweight anyway, a disgrace to my Irish/Russian (welsh/german/french/hungarian...) heritage. Still can't drink more than a single frou-frou mixed drink before I'm sloshed. Though to my credit, I slammed 4 kahlua and creams before becoming falling down drunk at the last shindig I went to with hubby. I'm not an alcoholic, far from! I'm a social drinker, on occasion, and usually not more than one glass of ANYTHING. I make an exception when I'm nervous or having lots of fun. Hell, I hardly even drank at my own wedding! Too much dancing to do!

Yeah, so I'm just being random tonight! Later!

I’ve taken some time out from writing (or trying to, rather) to read more. I think that might help get me out of this wretched writer’s block I’m experiencing. Reading is really my first passion, before anything else and I haven’t been doing a whole lot of it lately, excepting the “occasional” fanfiction. Ok, so I read fanfiction every day. A lot of fanfiction, EVERY DAY. That, however, might be part of the problem. I’m reading so much fanfiction online, I haven’t been reading any books.

I’m starting with romance novels. This week I read Nora Roberts’ latest trilogy. It was really good! Vampires, sorcerers, shape shifters and different worlds. And sex. Really great, intense sex. It made me feel good to read it. I read the first two books Monday and Tuesday night, started the third Thursday night and finished it last night.

It was very different from what I’m used to from her. I mean, yeah, she often puts a supernatural aspect in her work, but this was… this was almost like a fantasy novel, you know? And the way she described the battle scenes; it was wonderful! And much more bloody and gory that I’m accustomed to in a “romance” novel. Of course, the relationships themselves were also quite wonderful; I loved the interplay between the characters, even those who weren’t “paired off” together. Cian’s view of his relationship with his twin was especially interesting as was his view of reality after a millennium of existence. As always, the last pair in the trilogy was the one with the most obstacles to over come and was fairly brilliantly written.

I think next I’ll read the novels that inspired “The Killer Inside”. First I’ll read “Paradise County” by Karen Robards, then “Ruby Bayou” and “Carolina Moon” by Nora Roberts. I’ll also have to get a few Jayne Ann Krentz read; she’s still a major favorite of mine. I might even re-read the first romance novel I ever read, Judith McNaught’s “A Kingdom of Dreams”. Of course, I’ve got 6 or 7 new books I’ve bought, but haven’t read to get through as well; “Shadowmarch” by Tad Williams, “The Immortal Highlander” by Karen Marie Moning as well as a few Sandra Hill books my mother sent me.

I wish we had somewhere to read on the porch, like a futon or a couch. I’d really like to sit in the warm spring breeze and read for a while. We got a (FREE!!!) grill today, so that’s out there on the patio, but we really don’t have much else out there. A dead rose bush, 2 chairs from my college days and some IKEA ottomans, but nothing really comfy for sitting in and lounging. I want a chaise out there, or a love seat. Hell, I’d love to put my futon out there! If only the mattress was waterproof! And we need some more wind chimes. I bought a set for my husband last summer, but they broke this winter. So we need some new ones. We like the wooden ones as well as the bell tone ones.

BTW, the weather here today is BEAUTIFUL! We're talking 70 degrees, sunny with a light breeze. We had a cook out at my in-laws' place today and my brother and I played with Hubby's sister's boy in the backyard. Mostly "Star Wars" and things we had to shoot at each other for. You know 5 year olds. And my god I sound like such a MOM lately. I don't even have kids yet! ::sighs:: Ah well, such is life.

Anyway, it’s been a long time since I updated, so I’ll keep this short.

I hope spring is enjoyable for all of you!