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Of Wonderful Husbands and Chocolate Fudge Brownie Ice Cream.

Jun. 18th, 2008 | 12:30 am
mood: draineddrained
music: Counting Crows - Anna Begins

I've been something of a mess lately. Dunno...Collapse )

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(no subject)

Feb. 20th, 2008 | 11:15 pm
mood: deviousdevious
music: Blind Melon - galaxie (acoustic)

Filched from velf79

1. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother & father's middle name)
Marie Cliffton That one's decent! Mom hates her middle name though... With a passion.

2. NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad )
Phillip Wallace

3. STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name:
Ohlka? Gloka? Dude, I hyphenated my maiden and married names... Which, considering they're both long, German and completely unpronounceable, is really cruel to all involved.

4. DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Silver Unicorn! Green Dragon? Maroon Dog? I've got too many favorites...

5. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Rose Edgewood? A very botanical name...

6. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Green Frappichino? Ok that just sounds stupid. The Blue Carmel Macciato? The Turquoise Naked Purple Machine? HEHEHE That one is so wrong!!!

7. FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Kage... huh... I've got a student with that name.

8. GANGSTA NAME: ( fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)
Turtle Soup Thin Mint? Dude, that's stupid.

9. ROCK STAR NAME: (current pets name, current street name)
Schnuff Quebec. ew. just... ew... We don't even have a pet now... Our last SEVERAL died over 2 years ago. Schnuff was a hedgehog, Pepe was a Beta and so was Vash. Then there were Pip and Pop and Goldie and Slurp... 2 zebra fish and 2 snails. We killed them all. Very dead. Does my husband count as a pet?

10. STRIPPER NAME: ( name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy)
Sensual Amber Lindt. Maybe... Glow Rose Pastilles? If it were favorite desert it could be Sensual Amber Gulab Jamun...

11. PORN NAME: (1st pet, street you grew up on)
Pat Solon... nope! Not even a little. Tessa Abby? Sandy Andover? I moved 11 times. And we had a lot of pets.

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Writer's Block: A Favorite Poem

Feb. 11th, 2008 | 11:38 pm
location: desk.
music: Mad World

There are three poems that come to mind when I think of a favorite.

The first is "O Captain! My Captain!" which I first read in fourth grade. Until then, I'd hated poetry because all I'd been exposed to was stuff like Shel Silverstein and other children's poets; things that rhymed and were cute and simple. As much as I love and admire Silverstein now, I was fed up with it then. I went through my "rebellious" and pithy phase a little early; I didn't get along well with other kids and I had a bit of an intellectual snobbery issue. To put it bluntly, I'd felt I was better than all that bull and I read things that were beyond the reading level I was "supposed" to reading at to show that. Walt Whitman opened a whole world to me though; through that poem, I learned how to love poetry. I learned how wonderful words were at hiding meaning while revealing it at the same time.

The second poem I think of is ee cummings' "grasshopper". It looks like random letters on a page. It's fucking brilliant, in a crazy, bizarre, why the hell didn't I think of that way. I was 14 when I read that and again, it opened a while new world to me.

The third is a bit narcissistic. Several years ago, nearly a decade ago now, I wrote a poem about my disillusionment with religion juxtaposed with my need to believe I understood something about the universe. It turned into a three page long epic involving the Virgin Mother, the theory of relativity and my own personal thoughts on science vs. religion. There are parts of the poem I'm no longer very proud of, but the underlying message of it is still one I feel strongly. We've made a mess of things and we really don't understand as much as we think we do.

"divinity is matter
and our understanding the night sky
distortions happen every day
science is the sun
religion the moon
reflections and refraction
distorted to suit our poor
eyes and our blindness"

I called the poem "Mary's Grotto" after a small shrine to the Mother I'd found at the Catholic university I was attending at the time. I'd often go to the shrine to sit and think or write. I wrote that poem there, knowing that I was writing something that was very important to me.

So those are my favorites; things that inspired me and things that made me proud.

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Maybe, Baby...

Feb. 1st, 2008 | 05:10 pm
mood: confusedconfused
music: Keane - Atlantic

So it's been a long time since I last posted and a hell of a lot has happened. The biggest thing? I think I might be pregnant.

I forgot a few pills early on in the month and hubby and I have been... busy a bit more this month than usual. And now I'm late. Only a week and I took a test today that came out negative. But I feel different. Pants that were loose last week are suddenly almost tight. My lower stomach feels swollen and tight. Belts hurt and I feel nauseous at odd times. And laying on my stomach? No, can't really do that anymore. It feels like I'm laying on something.

I'm both excited and scared. I've been suspicious about it since Wednesday when it finally hit me that I was supposed to be on my period but wasn't. It's not something I worry about all that often, but I remembered forgetting those few pills and I was already beginning to feel off. So I finally bought a test today and told my husband. He wasn't mad like I was worried he'd be; we'd planned to wait a bit longer to start even trying and he's always on me to remember my medications, mostly so I don't go bat shit insane on him. I finally talked to him about it over the phone at lunch. I know, I'm such a coward, but saying it makes it more real and I'm a little bit scared shitless about this. I felt guilty that I'd forgotten a few pills, but his take on it is that it was bound to happen sometime anyway. Seriously, we've been together for nearly 8 years now. And we do want to have kids...

And I'm not sure weather to be hoping I really am or hoping I'm really not. Thing is, I think I am. And it really scares me. But at the same time, I'm imagining being 8 months pregnant in the dog days of summer and... If I am, I want it. I want it bad.

If I am, my parents are going to have to change their vacation plans. If I am, I'd say I'm probably around 3 weeks. It may be more, considering my last period was so light, but I'm not sure. That still puts a due date around September or October, if I am. They were planning to come out in May and have me come out in August or September. If I am, I'll be too big to fly by August. Seriously, I barely fit in the dinky airplane seats NOW, imagine being like 40 pounds heavier! Yikes. Both of our parents are going to be ecstatic. My parents really want to be grandparents; they already know what they want to be called: Gigi and Pop-pop. Hubby's parents are already grandparents but wouldn't mind another little one to spoil. So long as my MIL doesn’t start teaching my little one religion, I'm fine with that.

Part of me really wants to be. Ok, MOST of me wants to be. However, the small (very small) reasonable part of my mind says we don't have the money to deal with this right now.

But I want to be a mommy. I really, really want to.

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(no subject)

Dec. 31st, 2007 | 05:48 pm
location: home
mood: discontentdiscontent
music: Chuzzle song (hubby's playing)

Cripes... It's been forever since I posted anything. I've been a bit busy these last few months.

Work is going ok. One of our teachers walked a week and a half ago, being the utterly responsible and reliable person she is. Can you taste the sarcasm there? Very professional, wouldn't you say? Walking out because she wanted the day off and the director wouldn't give it to her. Not that she'd worked a full week since starting in our room.

Pfft. Anyway.

First time hosting Thanksgiving went well. The in-laws were impressed and everything went smoothly. The turkey was spectacular and everything tasted as it should.

Christmas was great this year. My parents flew out from Columbus and everyone congregated over at my apartment. I had been worried about my mother; she did break her leg last February and had been in a wheelchair untill August. But she seems to be doing a bit better now; she mostly uses the walker or a cane and doesn't seem to be in pain, so that's good.

I got some neat gifts:

Subscribtion to Netflix
SingStar Rocks
7 somewhat random romance novels
A jewelery box
The 300
Peter Pan
A Tori Amos CD
Fast Times At Ridgemont High packaged with Dazed and Confused
$50 worth of Target giftcards

The gifst cards are nice. I should be able to get that food processor I've been wanting, as well as a few other nice things. I miss making my own hummous. I also got some other nice gifst from my students. One gave me a gc to Kholes, $25 worth. Another just gave me $20 cash. Cash is a NICE gift.

The Netflix, however was perfect. I've been wanting that for years now and I'm so excited to have it! First thing I rented on Netflix was the first season of the new Doctor Who series. The first 2 discs came last Thursday and only have the first 6 episodes, but I was quite excited. Something about Christopher Eccleston... I've also recently gotten hooked on Doctor Who Fanfiction. I've been going through the entire list of it on ff.net. There's a lot. And weeding out the pairing I want is a bit difficult. I've been liking primarily the Ninth Doctor with Rose... Large age gap and one's not human... gee, THAT's a familliar type of pairing.

I was realizing the otherday that in very few of the pairings I like, be it in Inuyasha or any other fiction, are both of the couple human. I mean, really. Inuyasha and Kagome, Sesshomaru and Rin, Jareth and Sarah, The Doctor and well.. anyone, really. And then there's The whole Carpathian thing, Christine Feehan's whole series about that incredibly sexy race of blood sucking, inhuman hotties...

So anyway, the last few months have been full of me getting ready for family things and avoiding thinking too much lately.

Today, however, not thinking kinda caught up with me. One of the newer teacher had let us know last week that she'd recently found out she was pregnant. Over the weekend, that changed. Her ex, a violent psycho who had already been locked up for trying to hurt her and was recently bailed out of jail by his mother, got wind that she was pregnant. He was pissed because it wasn't his, came over to her brother's place, hit her and caused her to miscarry. She's only 18 and had only been a few weeks along so she's got really mixed feeling about the whole thing, understandably. She wasn't ready to have kids, but she was getting to be ok with the idea that she was going to. Then this happens. I feel really bad for her.

Thing was, it brought to mind something I'd been trying not to think about. It was about this time last year that we think I might have miscarried. I never tried to find out if I'd actually been pregnant and miscarried or if it was just my body being weird. My body doesn't some pretty strange things sometimes. I wouldn't have been far a long but... It's not something I think on often and her ordeal brought it to mind for me today.

On a more posotive note, we're going out tonight. Probably to my brother's for some fun and sillyness. We're taking my SingStar game over to my brother's. Should be fun, I'd like to hear how bad we all suck at this. :-)

I hope all of you have a great new year and that you have very un-interesting lives for the next 12 months!

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Bitch bitch bitch...

Oct. 14th, 2007 | 11:10 pm
mood: crankycranky
music: Sarah McLachlan - Fear

I love what I do. Really. To me there is nothing better than tickling a giggling toddler or watching a 17 month old learn that if they place a block just right, their tower isn't so likely to fall. The look of concentration on a baby's face as she watches glitter fall through water in a bottle; I thrill to this! The excitement from just watching a bubble! Seriously, I love what I do.

However, I'm hating my job right now. There is a difference.Read more...Collapse )

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Work rant...

Sep. 6th, 2007 | 12:08 am
mood: bitchybitchy
music: Paramour- Misery Business

So I was sick a few weeks ago. So were a lot of people at my daycare. So many, in fact, the health department got involved and started taking stool samples... We were infected with Norovirus. You know that virus that infects cruise ships and the like? Yeah. The stomach flu! Vomiting, diarrhea, body aches. Friday, before Labor day, we voluntarily closed. Tuesday we opened again and... Read more...Collapse )

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New TV...

Aug. 18th, 2007 | 12:10 am
location: my desk for once...
mood: sicksick

Woohoo! We're getting a new TV! Tom's friend and former roomie has been going through a foreclosure, as well as a very messy divorce and is getting rid of his Sony Vega TV. It'll fit perfectly in the little TV niche we have in our apartment and best of all... It's FREE! See, Chris just wants to get rid of the thing, it's big, heavy and he can't fit it in his parent's house. Plus, he kinda used my husband's money to pay for it.

more on that...Collapse )

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Art and Music...

Aug. 15th, 2007 | 12:25 am
mood: frustratedfrustrated
music: Bad Religion - The Defense

I'm thinking of asking to be the Art teacher or the Music teacher instead of the Toddler teacher. I'm sick of being stuck in that room all by myself all day long. I love my kids, the students I have right now are wonderful. They're smart, fun and really really cute. But since that one teacher transferred to a different room and her replacement quit, I've been all by myself in that room. I want out. We're down quite a few staff members right now so there's never anyone to help either. I'm at ratio by 8:15 and if any more come, which they do because my roster is full, I've got to bump them to the other class. Problem is, they have a full roster as well. So if all their kids come and all my kids come... we're over by 5.

And if they put the woman I replaced back in there when she asks to be rehired... There is no way I would stay in that classroom with her. I've worked with her before! She'll take over, treat me like her subordinate just because I'm younger than her and drive me out of my skull. She's sweet and all and she's great with the kids, but she lies. She's a compulsive liar. She lies to other teachers, she lies to the kids, she lies to the parents. And she really doesn't know what the fuck she's doing. You know how I feel there's this whole "anti-intellectualism" movement going on? She don't like no smart people. If I say something she doesn't understand, she'll treat me like I'm a jerk because I have a vocabulary beyond that of a fourth grader. I mean, it's not that I think she's stupid, but she sure acts (and talks) that way. My grammar is in no way perfect but I still find myself correcting her every other sentence. 'Cause I'm OCD like that. And the wretched baby talk that woman spouts!!!

OK, so maybe I don't like her. I'll admit I'm a bit of an intellectual snob and I can't stand dumb people, especially when they have the potential to be more. Or if they find my intelligence insulting. That really pisses me off. And she's one of those. I'm not a genius by any means, but I'm reasonably intelligent and I'm proud of it. So it really make me want to hurt someone when they treat me poorly because of my vocabulary or some such. So I read a lot and I paid attention in school, I might not have gotten great marks, but damn it, that's not really why I was there!

I'm so frustrated with this, but this is my field. And this is one of the better pre-schools in general. The curriculum is really amazing and I love the idea of rotating classrooms and having "enrichment" classes like Art, Computers, Spanish and Music as well as Gym. There's an actual Library in the building as well as special rooms for Math and Science, Language Arts and even a "TV Studio". Oh, and a Water Park. The kids really get spoiled, but they also get a great early education. I just wish things were managed a bit better and that they'd pay more.

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Only me...

Aug. 13th, 2007 | 02:00 pm
mood: gigglygiggly
music: The Cure - Love Song

My hubby's nickname for me is "Calamity Kate". Because there are some things that only happen to me. Like a toddler running to hug me and breaking my glasses with his head. Or standing up from tying my shoe and straining 3 of the 4 ligaments in my knee. Or what happened today.

I'm putting away bikes on the playground when I notice a cute little 18 month old from my class gnawing away on something. Not 5 minutes before, I'd pulled her out of the sandbox to keep her from eating sand. So I run over to pull it out of her mouth and... I have no clue what the fuck it is. It used to be round and reddish on the outside with whitish flesh. It smells sweet and is sticky so its obviously some type of fruit. But holy fuck, I've got no clue where it came from! So I rush the kid inside and take her to the director's office; the little girl is giggling and waving to everyone she passes. "Hi! Hi! Hi!" My director just blinks as I run into her office saying, "I'm not sure where the heck she got this, or even what it is, but I think she ate most of it before I got it away from her."

She laughs. We examine the sample, I leave it with her. She calls mom and I keep an eye on the toddler. Fortunately, she's been fine (ate like a horse, as usual) and we think it might just be a crabbe apple. Unfortunately, there isn't a crabbe apple tree within 100 feet of the fence so we're not sure how it got there. My theory is a bird or some other wild creature dropped it.

I REALLY hope her Mom doesn't kill me.

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